Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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