Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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