I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
