cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i came on her dog
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
