I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
