I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Randomize
