I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
