About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
