so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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