Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
