I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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