Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
