can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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