dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
