butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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