dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
