He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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