I want to make a zoo with you.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
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