she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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