I CAN MOONWALK!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
