You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
try to milk me bitch
I think i got beer on your cat.
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