i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
