this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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