Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
