I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
