We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
