I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
