oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I know her cup size but not her name....
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