He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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