Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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