I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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