So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
