Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
