Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
