Where is the hickey?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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