My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
