HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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