Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
