I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
