whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
