he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
