What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize