He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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