is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
