u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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