You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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