Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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