Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
