Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
