Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
