im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
