No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
