Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
pray to the hookup gods
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
