If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
