I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
