i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just want to make out with him forever
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize