You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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