Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
