wakey wakey hands off snakey
Jerry, you need to find god
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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