Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
