I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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