My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
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