dude i'm inner monologue high
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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