problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
