I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Are we still banned from the library?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
