So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
