this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize