i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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