Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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