You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
