i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
