I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
