so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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