I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
