So gin and wine won't be happening again
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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