some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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