dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
